BERA 2015 and the last months

It's been a very long time since my last blog post. In late spring I had to take a few months off from my PhD because of family matters, a move and several new projects. However, I am back on track now and my first full draft submission is only a month away. I am looking forward to finishing the analysis section and concluding with a flourish!

Unfortunately the last months have shown me that my heart is not that of an academic after all. I am very proud of the research I have done over the last years for my PhD, Cambridge, Manchester and Durham Uni, but often hundreds of hours of work simply flow into a report or a journal paper which very few people are going to read and which is not actually going to make a difference on the ground. I am determined to make the time I have invested in the PhD count and I am trying to make connections with people and organisations who will then be able to use my work to advance the cause of using film as a tool in education.

This week I was able to attend two conferences: My own, the Holistic Education conference, and the conference of the British Education Research Association. At the first, I was able to present a paper about some real life experience to 50 delegates, spend £40 for a two day conference and met some outstanding people who loved to connect. BERA on the other hand cost me £350 fees plus flights and accommodation and in the end TWO people listened to my paper. The conference had up to 27 parallel slots, allowing only a very small audience per session. I did meet some interesting people and got to discover Belfast (which I am very grateful for) but I can't but help walk away disillusioned. This is not the kind of community I feel connected to.

The more I engage with the local food scene in Milton Keynes and spend time thinking about the difference I really want to make to my community in terms of creating a sustainable culture, the more I feel that research is important, but only if it has a real application. I love finding out about things and using the new knowledge to bring together components and create something, but I will never value theory for theory's sake. This feeling really made me struggle at BERA.

Now that the end date of my thesis is drawing nearer, I have decided not to apply for further academic posts but will instead start working as an on-and-off education consultant and project manager. The next big goal is starting the Milton Keynes Urban Farm and building my own horticultural business. I am sure that my research skills and connections will continue to help me in the future and I might return to a full academic post one day, but until then, the world of activism is waiting for me!